the happenings at youth advance

I've been renewed
Here's how:

I was getting tired, generally tired of always being told the "right answers" from people around me. "Just keep seeking God." That sort of thing. I was frustrated that I wasn't seeing God's love in real and obvious ways quite so often. I was frustrated that I had to try harder, because I felt like I was giving most of my energy to leadership activities and not conserving any for the bettering of myself. But I had no choice; I needed to be out there in the world, being a good model, having influence. I was pounding myself for not excelling in every little thing. Not always being sure of the right road, the one a good christian would take. I wanted to be the perfect example of everything. A leader, a student, a child, a girlfriend. I would question every angle of what I was doing, to be sure I had everyone fooled; convinced I was this perfect person. See how tiring?
What I didn't realize, is that everyone has their own personal walk with him. Which means, that everyone doesn't need to have learned the same things at the same time. I just needed to relax and be who I was. To embrace what I am, and use it to my fullest advantage. I don't need to please everyone. In fact, I shouldn't pay any mind to trying to please everyone. I am my own person.
Jesus showed me what I was doing to myself, and took away the false convictions that had ahold of my mind. He opened my eyes to truths I'd never seen before, and restored my innocence. His amazing grace.
Now I do have motivation to better myself, and confidence like I haven't had in a long time. I've learned to just be. Because that's what he wants from me right now. I'm needed in this world just as I am. To dwell in the gifts he has for me at this time, and not dwell on the gifts I'll eventually recieve.
I am now soaking up his goodness.



Now if only I can get through spanish...